Book Review – How to Talk So Teens Will Listen in Sport

System 1 and System 2: Why This Matters for Teen Athletes

Kahneman’s core idea is that humans think using two systems:

• System 1: fast, emotional, instinctive, automatic
• System 2: slow, deliberate, analytical, effortful

In sport, System 1 is essential. It allows athletes to react, decide, and perform without overthinking. It’s what enables flow, creativity, and instinctive skill execution.

But when teenagers are asked to make life-shaping decisions, relying too heavily on System 1 can be risky.

Teen brains are still developing particularly the areas responsible for:

• long-term planning
• impulse control
• risk evaluation
• emotional regulation

This means young athletes may feel confident and capable on the pitch, court or course, but struggle to slow down their thinking off it.

The “Successful” Teen Athlete: A Common Scenario

In our work at Inspiring Sporting Excellence, we often support teenagers who are doing well but feel quietly overwhelmed. They might be saying things like:

• “Everyone expects me to say yes.”
• “I don’t want to make the wrong choice.”
• “What if I regret this later?”
• “I don’t even know what I want anymore.”

Parents and coaches sometimes assume that strong performance equals strong decision-making capacity. Kahneman’s work reminds us that confidence in action does not automatically translate into clarity in choice.

Fast Thinking in Sport: A Strength That Can Become a Trap

System 1 thinking is invaluable during performance. It allows athletes to:

• trust instincts
• respond quickly under pressure
• act without paralysis

However, the same fast thinking can influence off-field decisions in unhelpful ways.

Common examples in youth sport:

• Saying yes to opportunities because of excitement or fear of missing out
• Avoiding difficult conversations to prevent short-term discomfort
• Overweighting recent success or failure
• Letting external praise drive internal decisions

These are not flaws they are normal cognitive shortcuts, especially in adolescence.

Cognitive Biases Parents and Coaches Should Know

Kahneman highlights several biases that show up frequently in youth sport decision-making:

🔹 The Halo Effect

When one positive factor (e.g. selection, praise from a coach) influences overall judgement.

“They picked me, so this must be the right pathway.”

🔹 Loss Aversion

Fear of losing status, position, or opportunity outweighs potential long-term gain.

“I don’t want to leave in case I lose my place.”

🔹 Availability Bias

Recent events dominate thinking.

“I played badly last week, so I must not be ready.”

Understanding these biases helps adults support teenagers without judgement.

Why Slow Thinking Feels Hard for Teenagers

System 2 thinking requires:

• mental effort
• emotional tolerance
• time
• psychological safety

Teenagers often lack the space or permission to slow down particularly in high-performance environments where speed, decisiveness, and commitment are praised.

Parents and coaches can unintentionally push young athletes toward fast decisions by asking:

• “What are you going to do?”
• “Have you decided yet?”
• “You don’t want to miss this opportunity.”

This increases emotional pressure and reduces reflective capacity.

The Role of Parents: Creating Space for Slow Thinking

From a sport psychology perspective, one of the most important roles parents can play is protecting thinking space.

Helpful approaches include:

• Slowing conversations down
• Normalising uncertainty
• Separating identity from decisions

Instead of:

“What’s the right choice?”

Try:

“What do you need to think this through properly?”

This invites System 2 thinking without removing autonomy.

The Role of Coaches: Supporting Decision Quality, Not Speed

Coaches are powerful influencers in teenage decision-making often more than they realise.

A psychologically informed coaching approach includes:

• Encouraging reflection, not urgency
• Asking open, neutral questions
• Avoiding emotional persuasion

For example:

“What do you think the short-term and long-term impact might be?”

This supports better decisions and preserves trust.

Identity, Ego, and Overconfidence

Kahneman also highlights how success can increase overconfidence.

In youth sport, this might look like:

• Overestimating readiness for the next level
• Underestimating developmental challenges
• Tying self-worth too closely to outcomes

Teenagers often feel pressure to live up to expectations (their own and others’). Helping them understand that confidence and caution can coexist is essential.

Thinking Under Pressure: When Emotions Hijack Decisions

High-stakes decisions often trigger:

• fear
• excitement
• urgency
• comparison

Under emotional load, System 1 dominates.

Sport psychology support focuses on:

• recognising emotional states
• pausing before decisions
• reducing “all-or-nothing” thinking

A simple but powerful question:

“If this decision didn’t define you, how would you see it?”

Teaching Teenagers to Switch Between Systems

One of the most valuable life skills a teenager or young athlete can develop is the ability to choose how they think.

Practical strategies:

• Write pros and cons or do a SWOT analysis over multiple days
• Talk decisions through with different people
• Sleep on decisions
• Revisit choices when emotions settle

These habits strengthen decision-making without undermining confidence.

When Performance Is Good but Pressure Is High

Doing well in sport often increases:

• expectation
• scrutiny
• internal pressure

Teenagers may feel guilty slowing down when others are investing time, money, and belief in them.

It’s important to remind them:

• Progress is not linear
• Decisions are rarely permanent
• Reflection is not weakness

Kahneman’s work reinforces that good decisions are rarely made under urgency alone.

Final Reflections for Parents and Coaches

Thinking, Fast and Slow is not a youth sport book but it may be one of the most important frameworks for supporting talented teenagers through complex decisions.

It reminds us that:

• fast thinking drives performance
• slow thinking protects development
• success increases cognitive bias
• support should slow decisions, not speed them up

For teenagers and young athletes, the goal is not perfect choices but thoughtful ones.

And for parents and coaches, the task is not to decide for them, but to help them think well.  Because when teenagers learn how to think under pressure not just perform they gain a skill that will serve them far beyond sport.