Conversations with Kids - Teaching Young Athletes to Channel Their Competitive Fire
For parents and guardians where we give you prompts so that you can have more meaningful conversations with your children to help them build key characteristics such as mental toughness, resilience, confidence, creativity, focus and so on.
A Question for your Kids
Have you ever felt so angry during a game that you wanted to push, hit, or hurt an opponent? What stopped you or what didn't?
Improves:
- Emotional Regulation
- Performance Consistency
Directions for Parents
As a parent you could create a safe conversation space when the dust settles after a match or competitive event, especially a difficult one. Create opportunities for your child to discuss their emotions without judgement. Instead of “Why did you push that player?”, try “I noticed you seemed frustrated after that tackle what were you feeling?”
You could go on to help your child identify personal triggers by working together to recognise patterns. Asking good questions:
Does anger spike when officials make questionable calls?
When opponents trash-talk and try to get in your head?
When you struggle to execute your skills?
When your team is losing?
Understanding these triggers is the first step toward managing them.
Ideas for Kids
In the moment when playing sport:
- Try a Three-Breath Reset: When anger builds, take three slow, deep breaths before responding. Breathe in for four counts, out for six. This physiological intervention interrupts the anger response and creates space for better decisions.
- Personal Cue Words: Choose some words or short phrases that reminds you of your commitment to controlled aggression: “Ice cold,” “Composed power,” or “Channel it.” Repeat it when provoked. Practice it daily until it becomes automatic under pressure. You could have it documented on your phone in a handy place or stuck on a water bottle to help you mentally prepare ahead of time too.
Helpful Resources
If you would like to share your experiences as a sports parent or get insights regarding kids sport psychology, you may also wish to join David in The Sport Psychology Hub.
Best Wishes
David Charlton
Online Sports Psychologist for Kids who supports many youngsters and sports parents so that they have more fun and get the most from their talent across the globe from USA/Canada to Great Britain and Ireland to UAE, South Africa, Australia and New Zealand, using ONLINE Video Conferencing.
Managing Director – Inspiring Sporting Excellence
Host of Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast
Founder of The Sports Psychology Hub
Author of Conversations for Kids
With over a 15 years experience supporting athletes, coaches, parents and teams to transfer their skills from training to competitive situations, under pressure.
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