Mental Toughness in Youth Sport: Words of Wisdom Every Sport Coach Needs to Hear

Mental Toughness Is Not One Thing

A key message from the episode is that mental toughness exists on a spectrum. At one end we see confidence, commitment, and emotional control. At the other, sensitivity, self-doubt, and emotional reactivity. Most young athletes sit somewhere in the middle and they move along that spectrum depending on the context.

For youth coaches, this means:

• A player who “switches off” may be overwhelmed, not lazy
• A highly driven teen athlete may also be overly self-critical
• Sensitivity is not weakness it is often linked to care, effort, and identity

In their teenage years, children are navigating identity formation, peer comparison, and external evaluation.  Coaches who label athletes as “mentally weak” risk misunderstanding developmentally normal responses to pressure.

Mental toughness should be developed — not demanded.

The Internal Narrative: Coaching the Voice in Their Head

One of the strongest themes from the episode is the power of self-talk.

Young athletes talk to themselves constantly after mistakes, during competition, and in moments of uncertainty. Coaches often focus on what athletes do, but far less on how they speak to themselves while doing it.

For teenage athletes, self-talk is often:

• Harsh
• Absolute (“I’m useless”, “I always mess up”)
• Outcome-focused

Elite youth coaches can shape this by:

• Normalising mistakes as information, not failure
• Modelling calm, neutral language under pressure
• Asking reflective questions rather than giving emotional feedback

Instead of:

“You’ve got to be mentally tougher.”

Try:

“What were you saying to yourself there and was it helpful?”

This builds awareness, not fear.

Authenticity Over Approval: Creating Safe Performance Environments

The episode challenges performers to be authentic rather than chasing approval. For young athletes, this is particularly important.

Many teenagers:

• Change behaviour to please coaches
• Hide emotions to avoid judgement
• Play “safe” to avoid mistakes

Youth sport environments unintentionally reinforce this by over-rewarding compliance and outcomes.

Coaches can counter this by:

• Valuing effort, learning, and decision-making
• Allowing personality and individuality
• Encouraging questions and dialogue

When athletes feel safe to be themselves, confidence becomes internal, not conditional.

The “Board of Directors”: Teaching Young Athletes to Seek Perspective

A powerful concept from the episode is building a board of directors trusted voices that guide thinking under pressure.

For young athletes, this might include:

• A coach
• A parent
• A former athlete
• A role model
• Or even an imagined version of someone they respect

Coaches can actively support this by asking:

• “Who do you trust when things get tough?”
• “What would that person say to you right now?”

This helps athletes step out of emotional reactivity and into perspective, a core mental toughness skill.

Focus Beats Multitasking (Especially in Adolescence)

The episode reinforces a crucial message for modern youth sport: multitasking is a myth.

Young athletes are juggling:

• School demands
• Social media
• Selection pressure
• Multiple coaches and messages
• And their phones!

Elite coaches can help by simplifying:

• One key focus per session
• One controllable process goal per competition
• Clear expectations, not constant instruction

“Dream big. Act small.”
This approach reduces anxiety and increases engagement.

Fear as Fuel, Not a Red Flag

Fear is unavoidable in elite youth sport; fear of failure, fear of selection, fear of letting others down.

The episode reframes fear as information, not a problem to eliminate.

For coaches:

• Fear often signals care and commitment
• Suppressing fear increases tension
• Naming fear reduces its power

Practical coaching language:

• “It’s normal to feel this before a big game.”
• “What’s this fear telling you?”
• “How can we use this energy well?”

This helps athletes work with pressure, not against it.

Motivation Is Cyclical — Stop Waiting for It

One of the most important messages for youth coaches is that motivation does not always come before action.

Adolescents experience natural fluctuations in motivation due to:

• Growth
• Hormones
• Confidence changes
• External stress

Waiting for athletes to “feel motivated” often leads to frustration on both sides.

Instead, coaches can:

• Emphasise routine over emotion
• Encourage action first, reflection second
• Reward consistency, not intensity

This teaches a mature understanding of commitment.

Vulnerability, Self-Compassion, and Long-Term Development

The episode challenges the myth that mentally tough people are invincible.

Elite youth sport often glorifies toughness while ignoring:

• Emotional overload
• Burnout
• Over-identification with sport

Coaches play a crucial role by:

• Noticing changes in behaviour
• Encouraging honest conversations
• Knowing when to signpost support

Self-compassion is not softness it is protective.

Rediscovering Joy: Why It Matters More Than Ever

Finally, the episode reminds us why athletes start in the first place: joy, curiosity, and play.

In their teenage years, joy often disappears under:

• Rankings
• Trials
• External expectation

Coaches who protect enjoyment:

• Retain athletes longer
• Develop adaptable performers
• Build healthier cultures

Ask regularly:

“What did you enjoy today?”

That question alone can change a session or programme.

Final Thought for Coaches

Mental toughness in youth sport is not about creating hardened performers.

It is about developing self-aware, adaptable, confident young people who can respond well to challenge in sport and beyond.

As coaches, the question is not:

“Are they tough enough?”

But:

“Am I creating the environment where toughness can grow?”

>> Listen to the full conversation with various experts on Episode 301 of the Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast to discover more strategies to help your young athletes.

>> Checkout our Youth Sports Psychology Library