Coaching Young Footballers: How Personal Responsibility, Resilience & Reality Shape Success

1. Personal Responsibility Is the Foundation of Growth

If there is one message that came through loud and clear, it was this:

The most successful young footballers take ownership of their careers.

Personal responsibility is a recurring theme across our resources, and for good reason. Coaches often see two types of players:

1. Those who wait for solutions

They expect coaches, parents, or agents to solve their problems. They blame external factors. They avoid difficult conversations.

2. Those who create solutions

They actively seek feedback, review their performance, reflect honestly, and drive their development forward.

Peter Ramage highlights Matthew Fitzpatrick, who has tracked every golf shot since age 15. Despite being a major champion, he still takes responsibility for his learning, he doesn’t outsource it.

For footballers, personal responsibility might look like:

• Reviewing match clips independently
• Keeping performance journals
• Managing sleep, recovery, nutrition
• Asking purposeful questions
• Setting their own development targets
• Initiating conversations with coaches

For coaches, the key is to shift the ownership:
Asking great questions such as “How can I help you take charge of this?” rather than “Here’s what you need to do.”

If you’re working with young players, this transition is essential. Many young players arrive from academy environments where problems were solved for them.  Senior football requires the opposite.

For a deeper dive, see:
>> How to Take Control of Your Emotions: Building Your Personal Playbook for Confidence and Calm

2. Redefining What “Success” Looks Like on Loan

Many young players and their parents believe a loan is only successful if the player:

• plays regularly,
• scores goals, or
• gets glowing reports.

But that’s not reality.

Peter Ramage explains that loan success should be defined based on the purpose of the loan. Sometimes the objective is:

• To learn how to compete for a place
• To experience the physicality of senior football
• To deal with not being the best player
• To handle pressure and criticism
• To learn to cope without the safety net of academy support

Using Harry Kane’s early loan spells as an example, he reminds coaches that:

“The early loans weren’t glamorous. He hardly played in some. But they toughened him.”

For coaches working with young players, reframing success is crucial. If a player believes that not starting equals failure, they will:

• lose confidence,
• disengage,
• blame others,
• miss development opportunities.

Help your players understand that playing fewer minutes is not the same as learning less. Many players grow most during the toughest periods.

If relevant to your squad, you may also find these useful:

>> How to Assert Yourself so That Other People Don’t Throw You Off Your Game

3. The Importance of Learning to Navigate Adversity

One of the challenges Peter highlights is parents and agents intervening too quickly when things go wrong. When players hit a bump, many want to:

• move club,
• change manager,
• switch loan,
• or quit entirely.

But adversity is not a sign of failure, it’s a sign of development.

As a coach, your message to young players should be:

“Tough times aren’t a threat. They’re preparation.”

Peter explains that the loan department sometimes deliberately steps back, allowing players to struggle and adapt without immediate intervention.

This mirrors a coaching technique called guided struggle, where the coach intentionally allows discomfort so the player learns problem-solving, resilience, and coping strategies.

If you work with young professional footballers, consider these coaching strategies:

• Normalize adversity as part of the journey
• Encourage players to sit with discomfort
• Help them break challenges into controllables
• Praise effort, persistence, and courage, not just outcomes
• Share stories of senior players who overcame setbacks

For additional tools:
>> Run Your Race: Helping Young Athletes Avoid the Comparison Trap

4. Staying Grounded When Things Go Well

Success brings its own dangers.

Peter highlights a major issue:

Young players start believing the hype.

When they’re playing well, getting attention, or receiving messages from agents, staying level-headed becomes difficult.

For coaches, this is where you play an essential role.

Key strategies to help players stay grounded:

• Reinforce process goals over outcome goals
• Challenge standards when players get comfortable
• Use video to highlight both strengths and improvement points
• Provide honest feedback, not flattery
• Keep players connected to “what’s next”

Success should be managed with as much care as adversity.

5. The Power of Peer Mentoring

One of the most actionable insights Peter shares involves peer-to-peer support.

When young goalkeeper Aidan Harris went on loan, Aaron Ramsdale sat with him for 20 minutes and shared what to expect.

That conversation made a bigger impact than any staff meeting.

Why?

Because players trust players who have lived it.

As a coach, you can create this advantage by:

• Pairing young players with senior pros
• Encouraging mentoring conversations before loans
• Using former players as guest speakers
• Creating leadership groups within the squad
• Facilitating regular peer reflection sessions

Young athletes listen differently when advice comes from someone still playing at the level they aspire to reach.

6. Communication, Support, and the Strength of Asking for Help

Peter makes an important point:

Talking is a strength, not a weakness.

Young players often bottle emotions; frustration, worry, pressure, fear of failure, relationship issues, or home life stress.

Encouraging them to speak early prevents bigger problems later.

Coaches can support this by:

• Holding regular 1:1 check-ins
• Normalising conversations about mental health
• Creating psychologically safe environments
• Encouraging use of sport psychologists
• Modelling vulnerability (“I’ve been through similar…”)

Players aged in their late teens and early twenties often need guidance on emotional literacy and reflection.

Useful reading:

7. Living in the Present – The Core of Mental Toughness

>>Helping Your Child Adapt To Change – For Sports Parents

A consistent message across the podcast episode and in previous episodes and blogs is:

The best performers stay grounded in the present moment.

Whether the player is thriving or struggling, the ability to:

• focus on today’s training,
• concentrate on small controllables,
• avoid future anxieties,
• and stay process-driven,

Is what builds genuine mental toughness and has a positive impact on careers in the long term.

For young professionals, this is one of the hardest skills to develop but the most essential.

You may wish to read or listen to:

>>35 Ways Mental Toughness Coaching Can Help Footballers

>>Owning Your Journey: Personal Responsibility, Success Redefined & Thriving on Loan

Conclusion: What Coaches Should Take Away

Supporting young footballers is a complex challenge. They are stepping into adult football, often for the first time experiencing true adversity, competition, responsibility, and independence.

Peter Ramage’s insights are a reminder that:

• Adversity is a teacher
• Success requires grounding
• Peer support is powerful
• Talking is strength
• Responsibility is the difference-maker
• Setbacks are not failures
• Loans shape character as much as skill

As a coach, you play a pivotal role in guiding young players through these experiences not by removing obstacles, but by helping them build the resilience and mindset to face them.