• Exhausted by worries.

As a match gets closer, to some young footballers their head begin to fill with worries.  Imagine blowing a balloon and for every lung busting breath you add a worry this is much like how the footballers brain feels.  When they are on the journey to the match their brain is full of doubt and worries.

• Overwhelmed by physical warning signs.

A lot of young footballers will experience nerves before a football match, this is normal right!  It’s also a good thing, showing that they care and want to do well.  Not so for some young footballers as their heart-rate increases, or their breathe shallows, their stomach becomes tighter or their hands get sweaty they panic and don’t like the fact their body does in their mind weird things. 

• Playing in a position they don’t enjoy.

Most football players have a preferred position that they enjoy playing.  However, as it’s a team game and often results take precedent for many coaches.  It is common for players can be asked to fill in and play where they don’t feel comfortable.  Some players get on with it and do their jobs, but some hate that feeling of being uncomfortable and much like the one-nil down mindset they’ve set themselves up to play poorly and not enjoy the game before they start.

• Criticism from coaches and team-mates.

There are a lot of sensitive young people who can struggle when feedback is communicated to them.  Football being an emotional game is full of opinions, from coaches, team-mates, friends, parents and spectators.  The sensitive young footballer often falls into the trap of letting their emotions overwhelm them and takes any feedback negatively.

• Fear cultures in clubs.

Some coaches are what you would class as “old school” and believe that the way to motivate footballers is to shout at them, to challenge them “ a lot” and to be very demanding.  These coaches often instil fear psychologically and physiologically in young people and get caught out playing the “blame game.”

• Playing in a team who is struggling.

Nobody enjoys looking at a league table and seeing their team at the bottom.  Not many people enjoy getting beat 3-0 or 5-0 every week too.  After a while this can turn a lot of young people off playing football and they quickly lose interest in playing.

• Feeling like they don’t belong.

It’s common to play for a number of clubs during your time playing football.  In some environments there is a strong sense of togetherness and players are made to feel welcome straight away.  In other teams and clubs, their may be cliques, team-building isn’t seen as important or coaches are very task orientated therefore some players don’t feel comfortable and have that feeling of being left out.

• Parents push their own desires.

Some youngsters are forced to play football.  Their parents don’t want them sitting round the house on their XBOX and want them to be more active.  The parent themself enjoys football so doesn’t give their children any options but to play against their wishes.  Recently when working in an academy setting, I asked a group of young footballers their interpretation of pressure and it was amazing how many said it was being pushed to do something and not to be asked.

• Football obsessed

We hear all the time that you have to be obsessed to achieve great things, however to some young people, obsessing and specialising in one sport, football or soccer in this case, at a young age, breeds anxiety and excessive pressure.  They fall into the trap of trying too hard and losing the fun factor. 

• Self-esteem issues

When we’re young we’re trying to find our way, our interests, our strengths and weaknesses.  Our feelings of self-worth can yo-yo and is often volatile.  Throw in specialising in football only and pinning your identity on how well you play on the football pitch, this can be a recipe for disaster for many young people.

How can we help young people enjoy their football more as a parent?

I’d start with being open-minded:

Open-minded to learning about the brain and how it impacts young people’s behaviour.

Open-minded towards recognising that you can help a youngster regulate their emotions.

Open-minded about your behaviour and that importance of modelling.

You may also want to be open-minded to listen to some recent episodes of the DEMYSTIFYING MENTAL TOUGHNESS PODCAST aimed to support parents of youngsters who play football:

In the last of this 3 part series created for parents of young adults and kids who play football or soccer I discuss how fear can wreck a youngsters fun and enjoyment on the pitch.  Common responses to fear before matches include performance anxiety, physical sickness, feigning injury and refusing to play.  It’s a hugely difficult challenge to navigate as a parent therefore I share a tool connected with mindfulness which can help ease the young footballer’s anxieties.