How to Play Soccer Expectation Free

If you were to play soccer or football expectation free what would other people see?

From my experience of supporting 1000s of footballers from the 8 year old child up to the Premier League player you’d likely notice many of the following 10 things:

1. A soccer player who plays matches at the same level as he or she trains.
2. A footballer who doesn’t worry about making mistakes.
3. A soccer player who bounces back positively after making perceived errors.
4. A footballer who is brave in the way they place their shots.
5. A soccer player who is vocal demanding the ball regularly from team-mates even if their team is 3 nil down.
6. A footballer who embraces the physical side of the game, who commits to tackles strongly even against taller and stronger opponents.
7. A soccer player who shows courage getting on the ball from the first whistle.
8. A footballer who spends the bulk of the match on their toes, moving into space to receive the ball.
9. A soccer player who is decisive when on the ball.
10. A footballer who plays with a smile on their face despite adversities.

This is miles away from the football or soccer player who battles with confidence levels that yo-yo from minute to minute and match to match.  That is right, we are talking about the “confidence player” that is often talked about by football pundits and ex-players.

7 Reasons why you don’t want to be that confidence player!

1. You will likely wait for things to happen in a game.
2. Your coach or manager won’t trust you in key moments or big games.
3. You will likely come away from games, thinking “if only.”
4. The slightest perceived error in your mind will hit you hard and cause you a lot of frustration, ensuring that you miss out on showing how good you can be in a match because you are stuck dwelling in the past.
5. You’ll often feel uncomfortable and talk yourself out of situations.
6. When you hear we were playing with 10 players today, you’ll often be that 11^th player who went missing for large chunks of matches.
7. You’ll likely be jealous of team-mates and other players and spend a lot of time playing the blame game.

How can I help myself?

Step one is to understand yourself better, to identify the expectations that you place on yourself and others that can hinder your performance.

For example, below are some common expectations that I hear from players:

• On training v matches: I expect the coach/gaffer to substitute me if I don’t produce the goods.
• On making errors: It’s always in the back of my mind if I make an error that my team-mates will have a go at me.
• On shooting: I often play it safe and don’t put it right in the corner of the goal, in case, I hit it wide.  The goalkeeper then often saves it.
• On being vocal: I need to start a game well and do some good things before asking for the ball.
• On enjoying playing: If I smile, people will think I don’t care.
• On playing against physically intimidating and aggressive players: I worry I’ll get hurt when I tackle big players.

Step two: Is then to consider better expectations that you could set yourself.

For instance, if we look at the examples above these expectations are much more helpful:

• On training v matches: I expect myself to treat each match and training session exactly the same, playing with focus, intensity and giving maximum effort unless told otherwise by my coach/gaffer.
• On making errors: I expect to make some errors, all players do.  However, after an error I’ll continue to be brave and play with courage.
• On shooting: I expect to score 2/10 chances as Harry Kane does, so I will just react and trust my ability to find the back of the net when I get chances. 
• On being vocal: Being vocal from the first whistle, will mean I get on the ball more and influence the match, helping the team. 
• On enjoying playing: I go out to play with a smile, it can wind the opposition up, which is part of my job.
• On playing against physically intimidating and aggressive players: I expect myself to give 100% commitment to duels and tackles regardless of who I come up against.

Step 3: Is then to go on and set yourself some mini goals that replace your expectations as you will hear in episode 206 of the Demystifying Mental Toughness podcast when I talk about your approach to big matches.