Can other people throw you off your game?

Welcome back to our second X-FACTOR email.  Depending on your role in the team your job will naturally be different.  For example, for a defender it could be argued that stopping the opposition is the most important part of your job, whereas for a striker it is putting the ball in the back of the net.  It’s simple right!

Not so, some people have hidden agendas and can let their own ego get in the way potentially making it more difficult for others.  For example, the controlling and aggressive coach, who rules with fear, demanding unrealistic things from his or her players, leaving players frightened to voice their opinion and express themselves.  Or the football or soccer player who doesn’t fully understand what their coach is asking of them yet doesn’t act on their concerns and confirm with the coach what they mean.  You also come across footballers who are shamed and embarrassed with “put downs” by team-mates, coaches or support-staff.   

By not voicing their concerns and opinions to others, I find many football players as a result are never truly comfortable in their own skin when the pressure is on, in crunch moments and in important matches, so they go on to struggle to show off their true skills and potential.   Young footballers, in particular can struggle with this when they lack support and are challenged too much. Mindreading often becomes a habit for many.

Interpersonal confidence a small but vitally important element of mental toughness

A soccer player with a high degree of interpersonal confidence will:

• Have the ability to deal confidently with their team-mates when they are challenged. 
• Be better at dealing positively with their coach and won’t get too embroiled in mind reading.
• Promote themselves and the things that they represent.
• Be more assertive in dealing with vocal opponents.
• Likely be more comfortable in social settings. 
• Stand their ground when they need to.
• Not tolerate others dominating them.
• Take criticism in their stride.
• Be happy to have a debate or discussion and not worry if they are right or wrong.

How do we improve interpersonal confidence?

To ensure that footballers have the ability to deal more confidently with others, be more assertive, communicating expectations and important messages in a more open and honest manner, it is firstly, important to recognise patterns of behaviour, good and bad that you display in your day to day life or when you are training or playing.  The following steps are designed to help you:

STEP 1:

Start by getting a pen and some paper out and consider the following questions.

1. Make a note of behaviours which typify a football or soccer player who has high levels of interpersonal confidence.
2. Make a note of behaviours which typify a football or soccer player who has low levels of interpersonal confidence.
3. Describe people that you know who have high levels of interpersonal confidence.
4. Describe people that you know who have low levels of interpersonal confidence.
5. What traps can you fall into?

Now what are you going to do about it and change moving forwards.  Feel free to reach out and let me know by email.